Divorce recovery, yes, it takes time

8th March 2015 by


Unfortunately, relationship breakdown is often traumatic and most divorces will be emotionally difficult. For some, where the failure of a marriage or civil partnership has been occurring over a lengthy period of time, the eventual separation may initially come as a relief, but there will still be major emotional and practical adjustments to deal with. And for those whose partners leave suddenly, the impact can seem devastating.

While divorce solicitors can help you with the processes involved in dissolving the legally binding nature of a marriage or civil partnership, and will, in most cases, be able to give you a reasonable estimate of how long the procedure should take, the emotional side of divorce could be less predictable.

An undisputed divorce and straightforward financial settlement could be agreed and ruled upon by the court in a matter of four to six months (if all parties are speedy with their actions and responses to the petition, etc). Yet, experts say the emotional impact of divorce also has a quantifiable journey time attached and is usually around two years.

Prudence Gourguechon, a Chicago psychiatrist and former president of the American Psychoanalytic Association, says that this is more time than people would usually expect, but, she says, that it is important for divorcees to understand exactly how long it could take so that they can relax and begin to work through the emotional processes needed.

Certain experts have tagged this recovery time as an “identity crisis process” and say that common emotional responses include depression, distraction and anxiety.

While some people may try to ignore the emotional recovery process, experts say that this could be harmful. For those who decide to up sticks and move into completely new surroundings or even a new relationship immediately, this could merely prolong the emotional shock that the ending of a long-term relationship is likely to have.

Another expert says that when a person is taken by surprise by the end of a relationship they will probably have to work harder in their recovery process. Sandra Petronio, a professor of communication at Indiana University-Purdue University, Indianapolis says this situation may warrant “a lot more rumination” and may require “some type analysis” of what has happened.

Ilene Dillon, a licensed clinical social worker in Kentfield, California, says that some people are alarmed by processes of recovery. She says, “People start thinking they are crazy because the things they usually do to right their ship – things like talking to their mother, asking their friends for help, getting some sleep – don’t work anymore.”

The rush of emotions which never seem to stop can also feel overwhelming, and experts suggest that knee-jerk life-changing actions are likely to be the most harmful during this initial two-year period.

The experts generally advise separated people to try to remember that relationship breakdown requires a grieving process and the problematic feelings and emotions will eventually right themselves.

Healys divorce solicitors for committed, client-focused legal help

The family law team at Healys in London and Brighton can help you by listening sensitively to your situation and giving you straightforward legal advice so that you can decide which option will be right for you.

We know that a divorce does not have to be hasty or hostile and we believe that our experienced divorce solicitors can be instrumental in helping you survive the many pitfalls of divorce.

When the divorce process is amicable we can be there to help keep it that way, but when things are acrimonious we will be there to fight your corner and ensure your best interests are upheld at all times.

Call our team or email us today, we are here to help.